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We ONCE promised, to hold on together.


Another day past.
Hasn't heard from you a single bits at all.
Wondering how you're now.
Recently, im like insomnia.
Cant get to slp till 9 plus 10 which i dunno why.
Thoughts are running tru my mind.
memory starts to collapse.
Things are so contradicted...
"CHAN RAK KHUN"
meaning = _ ____ ___


every single actions means something.
Maybe by avoiding ya telling me to get totally outta your life?
is a good things that u got over fast (:
I cant, and i dont wish to.
I seriously dunno what i want now.
All i know is to work and earn
now, even when im reali sick i still goes to work.
Last whole week, i run 8 shows. should be only 6 yet last min show i still takes up.
Total 24 hrs last week i earn close to 1k. shouldnt u be glad for me?
I guess im uttering nonsense now.

Alright, Seriously,
I dunno will u be seeing my every entry but i hope u does.
Even if u dont, this blog will still goes on and on.
Right now,
I can only hear things from you but not see with my own eyes.
You've gotten what u yearn for , i shall be glad for you , dont I?
Is a pitty tt i cant be with u on yr 21st bday. :(
I hope u enjoyed yrself.
Least i knew u once were mine.
Maybe we tends to lie to each other or keep things from each others.
I know, that wasn't what we wanted too...
But now, realising u're gone,
Is really heartache but a lesson learnt toO.
Thanks,baby.

No matter what, our memories will live on,
The pain will be gone,
Our love will fade,
but you'll never gonna be forgotten.
Drifted, day by day.
This pain is getting over,
I hope it will be real soon.
Like u say,
Loving one doesnt needa hv possesion over the other party,
I strongly believe in this word now.
And by now, i believe what it meant by giving time to miss one another,
Like now,
I misses you hell lot!
The first time we hvnt seen each others for 62 days.
We hvnt hug each other for close to 2 months.
We hvnt watch movie together before sleep,
we hvnt eat together,
we hvnt wake up with each other by our side,
We hvnt play like a child ,
We hvnt had a real talk,
We hvnt hug each others to cry....
Never ever again,I know.

Guess ya working now,
dont get too exhausted.
Rest early every night and p.s. I love u & i cares


PS.
no matter what i will update this blog everyday.(:

one moreday had past....
61 days w/o you...

I know we'll never be like before again.
I hope one fine day we'll met^^
the present i bought for you was a levis' belt.
Yet i doubt i have the chance to hand it to you personally.
Wondering will you read every post of mine that is delicated to you.
Specially for you.

Though i hv a bf now,
but i've nvr thought of putting my whole heart into this r/s.
No worries, I'm safe and sound in the hand of others.
and i hope you're too.
With extra care and sweet from your the other half =)
Though i miss you ,
though i still knows that i cares for you
but i will never ever bother your life again.
No worries,
I will not get yr contact from others to bother you.
but then remember,
if you ever need help or someone to talk to,
call me or text me anytime .
my number remains the same,
98324090 :)
you're the one that i love the most yet you're the one tt hurt me the most.
A real huge impact, on my life.
I knew you're not to be blamed but would you be able to tell me what i really yearn for?

I really dunno.
Everytime,anywhere i will just bump into your friends yet i never got to see you,
perhaps is a blessing in disguise for i know it will be rather awkward if i were to bump into you holding on to your gf.
By then, i really dont know how to react.
smile and walked away?
turn and ignored?
This love is hard to go on,
i retreat, i lose in a battle of our love...(:



[[
"Every time I see him all cool, calm and collected, I lose my breath, my heart starts pounding, and I am painfully aware that I am not over him and he is over me"
]]



2yrs plus back.
Our very first picture. (:

60th day without you

Well, is almost 8am now =)

today would be the 60th day w/o you by my side.
slowly bits by bits, im getting used to all this.
No longer wake up with a big warm hug from u or to u.
No longer dark coffee with 2 scoops of sugar.
No longer tidying bed for you (:

I've heard from ppl tt came to find me just now at my wrk place tt u were at TG PGR.
Cool man, LOL. please control your limit of drinking, if u're drinking.

Hmmmmm, to be frank,
Being a dancer, comments from you does affect me but,
remember tt i earn by dancing and selling shots. Maybe to u, u're kind of conservative type so u will find that is not a decent job.but well, i didnt do anything to betray my self =) please dont look down on us as we work with our strength too.

Heard that u're leaving soon soon soon T.T
The thought of that actually make me have a kind of weird feelings inside.
i dunno why. sometimes i yearn to see you even from far far away,but sometimes i told myself never. Never because i might tear at the very sight of you or i dunno how to react like should i says Hi or should i just avoid.sounds rather contradicting right? haha.

Days w/o you pass fast too but it really hurts alot.
Sometimes i ask myself,
if im still with you, i wont be a dancer.
If im still with you, what would i be like?
If im still with you, how will everything goes?

but now....

im not with you, im a dancer.
im not with you, im totally changed.
Im not with you, everything turns hectic.

TRUE?

I party till the morning break,
I dunno why.
Tried staying home not gg out, yet i cant seems to fall aslp.
all i did was think and thoughts.

i rather i party and party.
dance and dance,
drink and drink.
like how u did.

Perhaps this is our good ending.
you chosen to avoid me might be or might not be a good thing.
You make me miss you terribly and wondering how u're
good thing to avoid knowing anything bout you.
Least i wont feels sad.

u and your girl looks compatible =)
enjoy , boy.
I give you my blessing, till the end.

The reason why i would open this blog is to let you know what im feeling.
even though we didnt cntct nor show, i still cares(:
i maybe bad at talking ,
but u should know me well enough.
i used to think that w/o you is the end for me.
The very first big break ups,
I attempted suicide.
I dunno why did i done so, but well,
i just only wants you to never leave me.
i thought im the most contented person in the world but hell no!
You broke my trust .
maybe tt is wat we call what goes around comes around.
You were a fine sweet nice and indeed my super god-like boyfriend.
we were like honey to bee.
but well, i knew im the one who started first,
i did the very first mistakes and then.......
everything started.

Maybe i didnt realise at tt time that im in fault but well,
time heals all wounds and time can actually make a person grow.
I've learnt from my previous mistakes;
never will i allow hisrtory to reapt itself.
Or should i says,
i let ppl enter into my life but very cautious.
I'm being hurt once, twice but never THRICE!
letting go makes me become stronger than i ever thought.
Now,
r/s actually isnt my priority now.
I needa work and save,
firstly, save for my dad least he comes out he has got some cash in hand.
secly, to further my studies.
thirdly, for my own maintenace.

I'm a big girl now(:
yea, i dun cry but i reminisce.
i thank god for giving me a great,you , before.

well,
as for vuitton,
she's utterly naughty (:
she's cute too.
Maybe ltr im brnging her to grooming.
no worry, i will treat every lil gift from you like gems.
Gems are rare, gift from you will nvr happen again = rare
^_^

i shall stop here,
shall continue tmr....

and ya,
nowadays weather is real bad.
like me,
im coughing and coughing,
down with super bad flu and bad throat,
so well,
please please please Xx 984272191021102

TAKE CARE!

chan kit teung kun

my very first post for you.

This song suits us best!

jaak gan jeung roo kwaam jing mai mee laew krai
After separating, I realised that I'm left with no one

tee ja rak chan lae jing jai
who will truly love me

tiap tao ter daai loie kong mai mee
as much as you did, probably no one else

glap maa peua tuang kam san-yaa
Come back for the sake of the promise

jaak kon-kon neung seung koie rak gan
from a person whom you loved before

mai waa ja gert a-rai keun maa gap chan
No matter what's gonna happen to me

ter mai mee wan ting hai chan dieow daai
you never left me alone

yaak hai ter roo waa chan kit teung ter tee soot
I want you to know that I missed you the most

yaak hai ter roo waa chan yang rak ter tee soot
want you to know that I still love you the most

rak ter mai mee wan yoot
Never a day I will stop loving you

poot jaak suan leuk soot jai
Words spoken from the bottom of my heart

yaak hai ter roo waa chan yang rak ter
Want you to know that I still love you

dtae dton nee ter yoo nai roo reu mai waa chan dtong gaan
But, where are you now, do you know that I need you?

a-deet tee chan koie tam hai ter cham jai
Those things that I did in the past which caused you to be heartbroken

kor toht tert na taa yang mai saai gern bpai bproht a-pai hai gan
I apologise, if I'm not too late I wanna ask for your forgiveness.

haak dtong kaat ter bpai chan mai leua krai eek laew
If I have to leave you, I'll be left with no one else

fao ror jon bpaan nee yang mai mee loie wee waew
Waiting till now, there's still nothing hopeful.

reu waa ter mee krai laew jeung mai huang
or you've found someone already therefore you're not concerned

mai leua yeua yai eek laew
No more feelings left.

dtae dton nee ter yoo nai roo reu mai waa chan yang rak ter
But, where are you now, do you know that I still love you?



I asked nas to forward you that particular sms to you.
Well,i'm nt sure will you come to read my blog...
If you did, i'll be glad (:

Firstly,
Im wondering how's your life now? Heard bout you having gastric pain and stuff.What's wrong? did you seen a doctor? Please take good care.
Well,life w/o u still hv to go on (: i've managed to pass this 2 months in a blink of an eye. rather surprisingly too. Im sure you did pass this 2 months meaninfully too.Heard that your gf most of the time is at your place?that's like so sweet of her.Well, congrats to you den (:
Today is like the 58th day w/o you...
That's fast...
But then still i gonna says, the memories will be locked, I will still move on, but never forget.We've been tru so much, the ups and downs.
From the starting till the ending, i cherished every moments.
Sometime you will rant that i didnt cherish,but boy, every lil things counts.
Ppl usually neglected the small lil things did and seen only the big things.
like exp.
when you were serving your NS,Before you stay my place,
Regardless of where you were, after i end school, head home changed and stuff, wait for you to book out and meet you.I'll cab over to your house.then spent the whole night with just the two of us in e room. Be it sleep or chat, i still enjoy every moments.Then we'll sleep at night and i'll den cab home ard 5+ am den go school. =)

The first time abortion,
I still remember when i found out i was lost.Didnt knew hw to react.Had mixed feelings. happy yet sad. i dunno what to do. in the end we asked Kim , amos' gf for the address,still rmbr? we even quarrel before gg for abortion. I was all alone.I still remember i left home, lying to my maid and parents that im gg to school but i headded over thomson Medical alone and with my stupid batt-less phone.In the end, i went to Simei. I was crying and crying. i didnt know what to do.I'm so afraid.Your friend was there with me yet you're nt there. Still remember? they all came down after jun wei's court yet you're still asleep at home. in the end you came down was like 1 plus in the afternoon. =) then headed back to your place den after tt den i went home...i still hv the pic tt we took tt day.



shag right? haha.

I still rmbr how i getta knw you (:
Was because of a silly prob with Eric,
Im helping my aunt to look for this particular person namely, xiaolong from PR.
I got your number tru kp boy.
Den we texted and you asked if we could be friend.0.o
and tt's hw we actually knew each others...(:

I still wear on to the ring given , the gold necklace wore on my ankle by you.
Never will i remove.
We're 2 person in a world yet being drifted apart.
So near yet so far.
But well, this 2 yrs plus if i were to write about it, it will be a long long story.(:

Seeing that you're happy with yr vietnam girl, happy for you.

chan rak khun